My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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