In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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