so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
