She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you mean i was at the winter classic?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
