she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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