just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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