did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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