Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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