I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
