All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
