she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
