That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
