i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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