we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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