So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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