The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
