Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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