Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
