Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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