I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
