We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
