Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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