Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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