I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
