david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize