I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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