So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
