there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
