pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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