Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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