we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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