dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
