She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
