drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
