can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize