Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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