I wannas sexs uuuuu
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
high people should be assigned attendants
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize