I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A bitchslap is in order.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
