Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
how drunk are you?
Several
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
