you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
