Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
