Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
