lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
