i just google imaged poop.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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