If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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