there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize