It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
