my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
