It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
