I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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