you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you didnt know i had herpes?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
