You're so nebulous sometimes
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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