YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
