This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
is that a dick in a sweater?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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