Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
