there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
