when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize