kristin has been a bad kristin
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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