Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
