is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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